Jan 18 2009
Too Many Choices
“A “NO SMOKING” section in a restaurant is about as dumb as a “NO PEEING” section in a swimming pool.”
My husband and I went to a local restaurant for a nice not-cooked-by-me meal. One of those where the service is great, the food is good, and you can find a quiet corner to enjoy your meal and talk over the crap that went on this past week. I knew we might be in trouble when our waitress showed up with 3 “visible” things pierced (nose, eyebrow, and 4 on one ear) and a spiked hairdo. Not that this would make her a bad waitress, but the piercings are usually accompanied by a certain “attitude”. She was, however, a very good waitress ~ almost too good.
She asked, “What would you like to drink?”
Coffee and water, please.
“With lemon?”
No, not with either one, please.
“On the coffee - regular, decaf, french roast, hazelnut or chocolate truffle?”
Just plain old coffee.
“Cream?”
Yes
“Regular, half n’ half, or skim?”
Regular cream please.
“One or two?”
One or two what? I’m totally lost now! Just bring me some coffee!
She’s back a few minutes later: “What would you like to order?”
Ham & Eggs
“How many eggs?”
Two.
“How would you like those? Scrambled, poached, over easy - medium - or hard?”
Scrambled, please.
“Would you like cheese with those eggs?”
Yeah, why not. (To my husband -”If she asks me what kind of chicken I want the eggs to come from, I’m going to pull those earrings out thru her nose.”)
“Now for the ham, you want country style, sugar cured, or turkey ham?”
Country style.
“Pancakes come with your meal, what kind of syrup would you like? Maple, blueberry, strawberry, original, or sugar-free?”
Oh my God! I’ve lost my appetite. Just bring me an order of toast!
“White, wheat or sourdough?”
ARGHHhhhhhhhhh————–!!!!!!!!!!!!!
