Jan 22 2009
Internet-itis
AaaCHOO! I was going to start out my blog today by saying that I think I have a new internet virus, but I was afraid that you would shut the blog down right away without reading. It’s not THAT kind of virus!
Since I have been writing this blog, it has become an obsession. I find myself thinking about what I will write the next day before I finish writing the one for today.
The problem with blogging for the what-in-the-world-does-that-mean crowd, like me, is some of the terminology. I have been trying to act all “cool” or “hot” or whatever means “with-it” these days, but there are some things I just don’t understand.
Like, widgets. I always thought they were the little plastic things that you used to scrape paint off of places where you had dropped it when you were painting something without covering the places where you didn’t want the paint - I guess that definition would be too long for Websters, wouldn’t it. Well, according to the internet, a widget is some little thing you put on your blog page where other bloggers can come and “drop” their “cards”. ?What??
And there are “links”. I think I’ve got that one figured out, as it is actually similar to a real link, like on a chain. I can send links to other sites and blogs, so I can pass along the things that I like. Those are cool - or hot - or phat - or one of those things. (Most of the blogs are pretty good - but I think some have been written by a “missing” link.)
Then there are “tags”. There again, I can accept that this means marking something so others will know where it belongs. After all, that’s what we old-timers used to identify our clothes, which were cool - or hot - or phat. (Ever notice that your prom dress is now vintage clothing?)
The one I really don’t get is “spam”. Why would you use the name of a perfectly good (although salty) canned food to indicate something that you want to get rid of? The first time someone told me to “spam it”, I had visions of smearing the canned meat by-product all over my monitor. I knew better than to put it on the keyboard - this time. (Dog slobbers can short out your keyboard - did you know that?)
No, I am not really that dumb, but there is a computer technician at a local Circuit City who thinks I am. I had gone in once to ask a question, and requested that he give me the answer in a very detailed manner, step-by-step, so I could write it down. He said: “Pick up the pieces of your computer, including the monitor and the keyboard; place them in a large box, send it back to Dell, then do all of us a favor - and never buy another computer!
I think I’m going to spam him, and take the dog along!
