Simple Things

     WHEN I WAS 16 I wanted a 1964 Ford Thunderbird, but instead I was given a l964 Ford Galaxy.  She was black with red interior, and the car was HOT! (Back then we would have said it was COOL - but whatever temperature it was, it was GREAT!)  I thought of that car today, because it was so simple to drive.  The gear shift was on the column, and the dimmer switch was on the floor, just where it should be, (instead of hidden on one of the other switches on the column- I hate washing my windows, when I intended to dim my lights!) The brake pedal was a big wide one that you could stomp with both feet in the event of a quick stop,(instead of the ones now where you’re lucky if you can get a toe-hold on it.) Windshield wipers were either on or off, there was no in between.  The radio had a knob that you could turn to get a clearer signal, unlike the stupid buttons that are on the radio now, which get you almost there.  I didn’t have to decide between radio or CD or cassette tape.  I didn’t have speakers that could blast me out of the car, and my neighbors did not hear me coming from 2 miles away.  If I wanted air conditioning, I rolled the window down.

     She was a great car, and until somebody told my parents, she was the fastest car in the quarter-mile.  All the kids who had cars, (which was few when I was 16) would take them outside of town on a country two-lane, mark off a quarter mile, and race each other.  Never for pinks, just for the glory of saying we won.

      Today I drive a PT Cruiser. I bought it when they first came out because it reminded me of an old Hudson that my dad used to drive.  Now I love my PT Cruiser, but I’ve had it for 8 years, and things have started to go wrong.  Of course, it is paid for - that’s the only time all the weird stuff begins to happen.

     A few months ago I went to the mechanic because the horn wouldn’t honk, and you know you have to have a horn so you can blow at all those idiots who pull out in front of you.  He checked it over and said it was a fuse.  He changed the fuse.  I think it honked once after that, then stopped again.  The radio and the horn are obviously connected in some way, because the lights in the radio don’t work, so I can’t see the clock or what station I’m on. 

     I can live with that.  I have a watch so I know the time, and I listen to the CD player more than the radio.  But what REALLY bothers me, is that my daughter can drive the car, the clock lights up on the radio dial, and the danged horn will honk it’s freakin’ heart out for her!

     This happened today.  Then I got back into the car to drive, the radio/clock light went out, and the flippin’ horn would not honk one beep.  (Christine, the car from the book by Stephen King, must have been reincarnated, and is living in my PT Cruiser.) 

     Oh, well, as they say: “Sometimes you’re the windshield, Sometimes you’re the bug!”

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