Simple Things

    It’s been said by many parents: “If you can’t say something nice ~ don’t say anything at all.”  I suppose that’s why I haven’t been saying much lately ~ I just can’t think of anything nice to say.  We’ve had rain here in northern Alabama for practically the whole month of May ~ as I know has been the case in other areas of the U.S. also ~ and I do appreciate the rain, but there’s also a saying about “too much of a good thing”.   I know the days will come in July when we’ll be doing rain dances and praying to the rain gods to let us have a little water from the heavens, but right now, we’ve got just about all we can handle. 

     That’s true about so many other things in life.  There are times when you’ve got just about all you can handle, and doesn’t it always happen ~ you get just a little more. Then when you’re ready to pull all your hair out and join a cult group so you can live in a hut in the mountains of Tibet, things change just enough to make life bearable again.  Well, I’m waiting for that change!

      As if I didn’t have enough on my mind, I got called for two weeks of jury duty from a District Court, which means I would have to go to Birmingham and hang out for possibly two weeks in case they need me.  That just ain’t gonna fly with this old lady!  I’m a small town person, and I don’t do well in places that have more than 4 traffic lanes going thru downtown.  Not only that, but Birmingham does not have the best reputation for safety lately.  Every day on the news, someone got shot, stabbed, kidnapped or worse on the streets of Birmingham.  NOT looking forward to this at all!

      The bright spot this month was that the hummingbirds came back to visit for the summer again.  So far, I have seen two males and one female.  One of the males has taken it upon himself to be the guardian of the feeder and he sits proudly on top of the wrought iron post watching for intruders.  The other two will team up on him, with the male distracting the guard while the female darts in to grab a drink or two.  They’re very entertaining to watch! Before the summer is over, I will have to hang the second feeder and if it goes the same as the last two years, by July I will have about 20 of the little fellows buzzing all over the deck.  If you stand completely still, they will come to the feeder right in front of you, and even be so bold as to “buzz” your head.  Last year I had to rescue one of them twice because he had a crooked leg and got caught in the plastic ring that goes around the bottom of the feeder.  I don’t know if he made it back this year, but it was thrilling to be allowed to hold him for a minute while I extracted his leg from the tangle. 

      So, for someone with nothing to say, I managed to find a few words.  When the rain stops and I can see the sun again, I’m sure my brain will start to function better.  (I must be operating on solar power!)

      “Into every life, a little rain must fall . . . . . . “  This is so true, but seems like the past month there’s been a lot more than a little rain falling around here.  If this keeps up here in Northern Alabama, as well as other places around the U.S., we’re going to need some “bailing out”, and I don’t mean money.  

     My chickens are knee deep in mud (well, maybe chickens don’t have knees ~ but you get the point).  I don’t have to go out to pick up the eggs anymore, I just stand on the front porch and wait for them to float by. 

     The grass has grown so tall that when I let my chihuahua out for a “potty break”, I had to attach a line to him so he could find his way back home.

     Yeah, I’m full of it today!  But seriously, it’s going to rain all this month, then by July it will be so dry, the trees will be begging me to let the dog out.

     Things never seem to happen at the logical time, or in a sensible amount.  There’s always either too much or not enough.  The whole world is out of whack, out of line, out of sequence.  It seems that way to us, but actually the earth has been taking care of itself for millions of years now, mostly without our help.  No matter what we do, the climate is going to continue to change; things in space are going to get closer or farther away; and mankind is always going to be a pain-in-the-butt.

      The best we can do is hang on (hoping that gravity continues to hold us down), and try to find the humor in the whole thing.

     “Climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Nature’s peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees.  The winds will blow their own freshness into you, and the storms their energy, while cares will drop away from you like the leaves of Autumn.” (John Muir)

     Ever have one of those days when you feel like the world has conspired to “dump” on you, and you couldn’t get any lower if you tried?  I was having one of those days today; feeling like nobody really needs me anymore, and what’s the point of the whole thing anyhow!

     Then I stopped by to visit a friend (the one who does my hair when I’m too lazy to do it myself).  She’s a single mom, with a teenage son.  She runs a beauty shop, drives a school bus, and keeps up with everything going on in the town (since we don’t have a bar ~ she’s the one everybody tells their troubles to). 

     So when I said, “Hey, what’s up today?”, she told me she just found out she had breast cancer ~ in both of them.  Now, normally, I’m not a crying type of person, but since I was feeling sorry for myself today anyhow, this hit me pretty hard.  I hugged her and started to bawl like a baby ~ my troubles all forgotten in a flash.

     My niece had breast cancer and came through it just fine, and I know there are many other women who have had the same terrible thing happen, and have survived.  With all the new technology and medical discoveries, I’m sure this lady will be another one who makes it.

      So, was I crying for her today, or for myself?  I know she’s going to be going thru a lot of changes, and I volunteered my help if she needs it.  But was I getting involved in her upcoming battle to make her feel better, or to give myself a reason to feel needed?  I suppose it really doesn’t matter, as both of us would benefit in some way from the exchange.

     So as I sit here today, writing about the experience, I realize that there are times when everyone gets that small feeling ~ like we’re not that terribly important in the larger scheme of things.  Maybe I can be of help to her, while at the same time giving myself a reason to be.  That’s really what it’s all about.

     “What we have done for ourselves alone dies with us; what we have done for others and the world remains and is immortal.” (Albert Pike)

     If I told you there was a picture of a monster above, you’d just have to take my word for it wouldn’t you? (because you can’t see a thing) That’s how I felt this week when I was trying to watch a movie called “Quarantine”.  The movie started out well enough, in that you could actually see it, although the first fifteen minutes was a little boring.  After that, I suppose it could have been a good movie ~ I wouldn’t know ~ I couldn’t see anything.  The producers of this kind of movie apparently think we’re so impressed with the dialog that we won’t notice the absense of anything to look at on the screen.  When I pay to see monsters, I want to see monsters.  I didn’t care for the “documentary” style that it was done in, but even that is bearable if you can see what’s going on.

      One of the main reasons I can’t stand the “Ghost Hunter” stuff is that we’re expected to get all excited about the things that the “hunters” say they can see and hear, while we can’t see or hear any of it.

      Not only is the “darkness” prevalent in the monster and ghost movies, but it seems to be creeping into the CSI’s too. I can understand why the CSI techs might be able to pick out clues better with a flashlight, but is it a rule that all the power goes out at any crime scene?  They can be looking for clues in a Wal-Mart size empty room, and they’ll never turn the lights on!

     And have you ever wondered why a deserted building always has a broken pipe dripping water somewhere?   Do they not turn the water off when they desert the building? The crime scene can be out in the middle of the desert, in a building that has been empty for 20 years, and if anyone goes below ground level, there will be water dripping!

     It takes a lot to scare me these days ~ at least in monster movies.  The only things that really scare me are the actual things that happen on a daily basis in our world today.  I’m really scared that our entire way of life is teetering on the brink of extinction.  I’m really scared that my grandkids will never know our world the way we knew it. 

     I used to listen to my parents and grandparents talk about the sad condition of the world, and thought they were crazy because there didn’t seem to be anything wrong with it to me. Now I know exactly where they were coming from ~ and it’s much worse now than it was then.  I suppose each generation goes through this, but you know, there really isn’t a lot left to lose.  Morals have gone to hell ~ responsibility for one’s self is non-existant. 

     Guess maybe we’re better off in the dark.

     “Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work; you don’t give up.” (Anne Lamott)

     So many things in life we begin, then lose interest in (at least I do), then discover again once we have been refreshed.  I’m one of the most procrastinating people around (just ask my family), and once I get tired of doing something, there is no going back to it until my interest has been renewed.  It may take days, months or sometimes years, but I usually go back to whatever it was, and make an attempt to finish or renew.

     I was sick for a week (sinus infection) and it seems that the older I get (there’s that phrase again), the harder it is to get over.  I used to go to work every day, head full of all the crud that jams up your head from eyeballs to throat; but now, I turn into a pitiful ball of mush and stay home on the couch. (This may be due to laziness instead of old age, but regardless of the excuse, I just can’t get moving.)  After a week of coughing and hacking up something akin to furballs, I totally lost my voice. For someone who likes to talk as much as I do, that’s a real loss! (The family may not think so, but I do.)

     I said all that to say this:  I was feeling so badly that I almost broke down and went to the Doctor ~ which for me is a really last-ditch effort.  One evening I felt so badly, even my breathing seemed too shallow, and I was beginning to think that God was going to call my number.  I told him very frankly that I still had too much to do, and there are too many people depending on me, for me to take the exit ramp just yet.  I promised that I would be a better person (don’t we always do that when we’re in trouble) and maybe stop bad-mouthing as much as I normally do.  He must have accepted the agreement, cause I’m still here, (and I do intend to be a better person).

     Now that the fog has cleared from my brain again, and the crud is almost gone from everywhere else, I feel renewed and refreshed.  Why is it that humans have to get to the very bottom of their being, to see that everything is so much better at the heights?  It’s like digging all the way down to your feet to find your soul and slowly dragging it all the way back up to your head. (I don’t know about you, but mine hangs around somewhere between my heart and head.) 

     Mother’s Day was a big help to making me feel better.  Although my Mother is long gone, I stood in church with my daughter ~ who is also a mother ~ and accepted the beautiful red rose that was given to me by my granddaughter.  The whole day was dedicated to Mothers, and upon leaving, I felt that I was a really useful person after-all. I guess you can say, I was renewed and refreshed.

     Now the real challenge begins; to keep the promise that I made, and be a better person every day.  If everyone, from the President to the homeless person on the street, would do this each day ~ decide to be a better person ~ we wouldn’t need all the wars, and divisions in government, and entertainment that only seeks to destroy our values.

     “Babies don’t speak ~ neither do the dearly departed, but many of those laboring to make sense of life in between those two points have a lot of wisdom ~ and a little foolishness~ to share.”